It might be thought that companionship and romance are elements of relationships that do not necessarily come as a package, and we may wonder whether wanting to experience either companionship or romance, could be pulling us in different directions.
Wanting companionship in a relationship as we mature, can be because we are seeking to find comfort, contentment and a sense of security for the future, as opposed to seeking romance, which tends to be something we find exciting and highly stimulating, and are they particular reasons why we might be seeking either companionship or romance more strongly during the wintertime over other times of the year?
The two terms of companionship and romance can be considered similar to the ancient Greek words for love, of Eros and Agape, with Agape being a form of unconditional, non-sexual love, whereas Eros is linked to passionate or intimate love which more often, is associated in our minds with romance.
During the winter, travelling with a new partner can be a great option to experience both romance and companionship. Whether this might be to enjoy a few days exploring a romantic European city with Christmas markets, such as those found in Vienna or Prague, or to be taking up options for trips in the UK in the winter as a couple. These may include staying in a cosy country hotel or a romantic city break with the festive highlights to be enjoyed together over the Christmas or New Year period. Or, maybe we might simply enjoy a carefully planned cosy date night at home with the one we love, having a good meal and appreciating the intimacy of just each other’s company. Whatever inspires us, winter really is one of the best times to appreciate that special someone you love and who loves you in return, with time to appreciate the warmth, love and comfort that this person brings to your life during these cold and darker days.
Myth Busting: Do Mature Adults Still Crave Intimacy?
It’s an ever-prevailing myth amongst the young, that older folks are no longer interested in sex. Surely, they think, you are well past that sort of thing and must have moved on to gentler pursuits? Well, whilst it is not so often discussed, this view can be very far from the truth. There remains a deep-seated human longing within us for connection, intimacy and love and this longing does not disappear as we grow older, it only adjusts and evolves as we age. As the temperature drops throughout the winter months, we are likely to seek the warmth and closeness of someone special even more than we might do at any other time of the year.
The intimate touch of someone’s hand can be remarkably stimulating on our skin, whether we are sixteen, sixty-five or older than that. We don’t need to be in the prime of youth to give and receive a tender caress. Intimacy and romance can mean much the same to us or maybe even more as we become more mature, and the wintertime provides us with the perfect scenario for a hand in hand romantic stroll on a frosty day, or that cosy embrace by the fire.
We might look back to our youth and how we thought about people who were over 50, who we considered ‘old’. Now, being aged from 50 to mid-sixties, is commonly regarded as being mid-life, and is quite possibly our best years, with more freedom and opportunity to enjoy ourselves than this age group has ever had before. We have more time to travel and to try new things as we mature, often having more flexible lifestyles and a better work-life balance than when in our earlier adult years, when perhaps our career and/or childcare tended to dominate. Those of us over fifty are also healthier than ever before, so have the energy as well as the means to live our lives to the full and therefore we are likely to value both romance and companionship in a relationship with our partner.
Companionship vs. Romance: The Importance of Relationships
Relationships are, of course, not all about the joys of romance and intimacy, even though these aspects can be very important for many more mature people in expressing and experiencing love within a relationship. Companionship also provides us with positive feelings of belonging, of being safe and secure, things that we may particularly look for under the influence of winter period and those frosty days and longer nights.
Companionship is something we come to value more as we age. One thing that I have appreciated very much about being part of a happy couple, is to come home from work in the winter when it is already dark, to our home that’s warm with the lights on, the fire lit and with the smell of supper cooking, and with my partner there to welcome me. It’s a marvellous feeling, particularly when it’s dark and cold outside and I can reflect that before living with my partner, I had become used to returning to an empty house.
Some people think it is hard to transition to become a couple if we began as friends first, where companionship was at the core of the relationship. However, it is entirely possible for this transition to happen and means that the relationship we move on to as a loving couple, will be built on strong foundations of trust and a real understanding and genuine liking of our partner, rather than on initial sexual attraction which may be only fleeting and where genuinely compatibility may not have been there.
Our romantic relationships do not have to ignite quickly, they can start at a gentler pace, allowing time to discover things that we enjoy about the other person, and it may just take the right ambiance and the right moment to encourage those first sparks of romance after friendship has first become established. As we mature, we value the companionship and friendship of someone as much as having romantic and passionate feelings towards this person. Whilst passion can, after all, be only fleeting, friendship and the desire for a contented companionship with someone can more often last for many years, and as we grow older, we may more strongly value the feeling of secureness and knowing we are in a lasting relationship.
The winter period and particularly the time around all of the festivities of Christmas and New Year, provides us with the perfect backdrop to bringing a new romance into our lives. Rather than the humdrum of daily living, we find ourselves going out to celebrate the season, to winter events where everyone is looking at their best and in the mood for celebration and engaging with others. Such convivial gatherings truly set the scene and work on our psyche, encouraging romance to take hold at any age, even if that starts with the traditional kiss under the mistletoe! It is often said that we tend to engage in more activities that keep our minds occupied during the winter as couples, which leads to greater relationship satisfaction. In such circumstances, whether we are older or younger is not really important, romance is still there to be experienced as we explore the possibility of a new relationship with someone new.
Over 50s Matchmaking: A Secure Way to Find Wintertime Love
These days, there are more and more of us who find ourselves unattached later in life and therefore, in principle, there should be more opportunity for us to meet a suitable new partner if we are over 50, than perhaps there ever was in times gone by. Nevertheless, we know from experience that it is not straightforward to find that special person. As we become more mature, there seems to be less opportunities for meeting new people who are unattached, and everyone seems to tread so carefully these days if meeting others through work or hobbies, so as not to cause any unintended offence.
If you are wondering if a new partner might be on the horizon and whether a winter relationship could be just around the corner, you probably will need to be proactive, to take that positive step forwards, to have the best chance of making this happen.
If you decide to work with a professional matchmaker, such as those at Avenues who have access to like minded singles, you will be able to discuss with your personal matchmaker in confidence any concerns and expectations you have of a future relationship. For example, if you feel you would be comfortable taking things more slowly when meeting others, and whether it is romance or companionship that you are more focused on. Your matchmaker can give you straightforward guidance and advice on how best to approach dating depending upon what is important to you in a new relationship. This is one of the real benefits of choosing a quality personal matchmaking service for your search for a new partner, as opposed to online dating, where there’s no such support.
Winter is here, and if romance or companionship is something you'd like to welcome into your life this season, why not reach out to Avenues Dating today? As a matchmaking service exclusively for those over 50, we offer a variety of dating memberships tailored to suit your personal needs. With options for everyone, there’s no better time to take the first step — contact us today!