St Valentine's Day 2025 is just around the corner, and for many singles, this means a surge in dating activity. Whilst the prospect of finding love is exciting, it is crucial to prioritise your safety. Online dating, dating apps and meeting through a personal matchmaker can all be a wonderful way to meet new people, but it is important to approach it with caution and common sense, especially if you are using the internet.
This post will provide some essential tips for staying safe while navigating the world of dating, especially as you prepare for Valentine's Day, and if you are now over 50, which is our target audience at Avenues Dating.
Tips for Staying Safe Whilst Dating This Valentine’s Day
As Valentine’s Day approaches, it's natural to feel excited about new romantic possibilities. However, staying safe should always be a top priority. Whether you're navigating online dating platforms or considering matchmaking services, ensuring your personal security and emotional well-being is key.
At Avenues, many people turn to us with questions about how to date safely. Some of the most common concerns include:
How Do I Create a Strong Dating Profile?
- We always recommend seeking professional expertise if you can, which of course is our standard procedure at Avenues.
- Always be honest and authentic. Present yourself truthfully. Don't create a false persona or exaggerate your accomplishments—you will only get found out sooner or later.
- Choose photos wisely as they are critically important. Include a variety of photos that accurately reflect your personality and interests.
- Be selective about information. Limit the amount of personal information you share in your profile. Avoid disclosing your full address or location, phone number, or workplace. Obviously if you are using a personal matchmaker, they will create a professional profile on your behalf. Standards will vary of course, and it is important to utilise an experienced matchmaker—such as at Avenues—one who is a professional and has been very well trained.
How Can I Be Sure My Matches Are Who They Say They Are?
- Read profiles carefully. Pay attention to red flags like vague profiles, excessive negativity, or unrealistic expectations.
- Check social media. If possible, try to find your potential date on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn—this can give you a better sense of their personality and lifestyle.
- At Avenues, there are additional safety steps that we take. For instance, all members or potential members are interviewed and have to produce photographic evidence of their identity.
- We also utilise our in-house authentication and verification system, brought to us by our partners at LexisNexis, to check out their address, whether or not they have been involved in criminal activity in the past, and also their solvency. This all happens before new members are taken on, which goes a long way to keep people safe when meeting others.
How Should I Approach the First Few Conversations?
- Start slow: Take your time getting to know someone online. Don't rush into deep conversations or personal disclosures too quickly and look for patterns. Scammers will often try to take you away from the site or app you have chosen and will try to get you onto a messaging service.
- Ask open-ended questions. Encourage genuine conversation by asking questions that require more than a yes or no answer.
- Trust your gut. If something feels off, don't ignore your instincts. It's okay to end a conversation or block someone if you feel uncomfortable.
- If you are using a personal matchmaker, it will usually be easier to keep you safe as he or she will know both parties and can vouch for both members. They have quite often been well acquainted with their clients for several months, and may even have met them on a face-to-face basis.
How Can I Plan a Safe First Date?
- Choose a public place. Opt for well-lit, public locations for your first date, such as a coffee shop, museum, or park.
- Tell a friend. Let a trusted friend know where you're going and who you're meeting. Share your date's name, profile picture, and planned itinerary.
- Meet in a group setting. Consider suggesting a group activity for your first date, such as attending a concert or joining a social event.
- If using a matchmaker, it should be much safer, but you would still need to take sensible precautions, especially if meeting in a pub or bar, where alcohol is involved and may create a false sense of security.
What Things Should I Be Aware of on a First Date?
- Be mindful of your surroundings. Pay attention to your environment and be aware of potential dangers.
- Listen intently. Pay close attention to your date's behaviour and how they make you feel.
- Set boundaries. Don't feel obligated to do anything you're not comfortable with. It's okay to decline a drink, change locations, or end the date early if you feel unsafe.
- Also, in the UK many pubs and bars utilise the ‘Ask for Angela Scheme’, where a customer can go to the bar and ‘Ask for Angela’ which is a commonly known and accepted code for please help me to safely exit as I feel extremely uncomfortable or even threatened.
Are There Any Smartphone Tools That Can Help Keep Me Safe?
- Some dating apps and online sites may have safety features. Certain dating apps may offer limited safety features such as background checks, emergency alerts, or the ability to share your location with trusted contacts—these are often the ‘paid for’ apps or sites. To join some of these can be expensive however, with Tinder having recently launched a $500 per month option—Tinder Vault. Although, $6,000 per annum might be considered hefty by some and equates to £4,902 at today’s exchange rate.
- Using a personal matchmaker can be a similar cost to this, give or take. For this, you get a bespoke service and would work with your personal matchmaker to keep safe. At Avenues, our range of memberships starts from £2,295. This gives you the chance to be mentored and supported throughout your membership by one of our experienced matchmakers.
- Other tips would include the use of location sharing apps. Share your location with a friend or family member during your date using apps like Find My Friends on iPhone or on Google Maps.
What Red Flags Should I Look Out for on a First Date?
- Inconsistent information. Be wary of inconsistencies in your date's profile or stories—it’s surprising how often they do this if you are alert to it.
- Excessive pressure. If your date pressures you to meet in person quickly, share personal information prematurely, or engage in intimate activities before you are comfortable, it is a major red flag.
- Love bombing. Be cautious of individuals who shower you with compliments, profess their love quickly, or try to isolate you from your friends and family. Stay on the original site if you can, until you are completely comfortable and even then, never let your guard down.
- Financial requests. Never send money to someone you met online, regardless of their circumstances. You can report them to the site or provider but that gets increasingly harder if they have successfully lured you away onto a messaging service, and negates the original app's power to act.
What Are the Main Online Dating Scams to Watch Out For?
- Romance scams. Be wary of individuals who claim to be living abroad, in the military, or experiencing a personal crisis. They may ask for financial assistance or personal information. This is a classic scam tactic, but sadly it really does work well for the scammers, with £94.7 million being defrauded last year in the UK.
- Phishing scams. Be cautious of suspicious emails or messages that ask for your personal information or login credentials. They could be trying to hack into your bank account.
- Catfishing. Be aware that not everyone is who they claim to be online. Some individuals may use fake profiles or stolen photos to deceive others. In 2023, independent research by GBG found that 8.6 million people in the UK used fake or fraudulent identities to gain access to goods, services or credit.
What Is Best Practice for Online Dating Etiquette?
- Respond to messages. If you're not interested in someone, it's polite to politely decline their messages or unmatch them, but be careful not to rile them.
- Be respectful. Treat others with kindness and consideration, even if you're not interested in them. Politeness costs nothing.
- Be patient. Finding the right person takes time. Don't get discouraged if you don't find potential matches immediately, it can take time if you’re setting your standards high. Also remember that there will be some rejection, it goes with the territory and you have to be prepared to handle it.
Staying Safe This Valentine’s Day: Final Thoughts
Remember, dating should be a fun and enjoyable experience. While it is important to prioritise safety, don't let fear prevent you from connecting with new people. If you have chosen to go down the route of using a matchmaker, do follow their advice and let them help you. They usually have a lot of experience and knowledge and we truly recommend using that. By following these tips and staying vigilant, you can increase your safety and enjoy a positive online dating service experience.
We hope this blog post helps you stay safe and have a Happy Valentine's Day! If you’d like to know more about personal matchmaking or what we do at Avenues for over 50s, then we’d be delighted to help you and chat things through with you. Our membership advisers are usually available from 9am until 9pm every day, including weekends and some bank holidays. They’d be delighted to talk to you about how we work and how we prioritise safety for our members. Why not get in touch with us today by calling 0800 644 4170, or simply fill out our easy contact form, and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Alternatively, if you’re under 50, then contact our sister company, Matchmakers Dating on 0800 644 4130. We would love to hear from you in time for St Valentine’s Day!