What NOT To Do On A First Date

It comes to us all eventually, whichever way we choose to date, whether we have been swiping left or right looking at photos on an app, whether we have found someone we like online and they have responded or we have been matched professionally by a personal matchmaker, that dreaded first date will loom large at some stage and you will get the opportunity to meet that potential new partner for the first time.

Enjoy The Experience Of Dating

If you’re an experienced dater and you have been in this situation many times before or at the other end of the scale this is the very first time you have dated after perhaps a very long relationship or even marriage DON’T be nervous and DO try to enjoy it and gain from the experience. Even if it’s so that things go much more smoothly next time. We talked to dating expert Trelawney Kerrigan to find out her views on what we should and shouldn’t do on a first date, here are Trelawney’s views: 

What NOT To Do

10 basic rules of things to avoid on a first date:

  1. Try Not To Be Nervous

    Try your best to not be nervous or fearful, think carefully about what you are going to wear and how it is going to impact. Choose something that you feel good in and helps you feel positive and comfortable about yourself.

  2. Try Not To Overdress

    Don’t wear anything too revealing or contentious, err on the side of caution and a use a touch of formality (but not too much), think about paying your potential partner the respect of dressing to impress and presenting yourself at your very best but perhaps in an understated way.

  3. Try Not To Travel Too Far

    Don’t choose a venue that you are unfamiliar with if it can be avoided, also if you’re driving to the date, choose somewhere with a large, well lit car park nearby, especially in the winter. Also ideally if you’re going on a date in a city or town centre then plan ahead and whether you are going by car or public transport think about getting back to your car safely or where you are going to access your transport home.

  4. Try Not To Forget

    Don’t turn up without any thought going into your date. You probably know a little bit about your potential partner by now, so remind yourself of the basic information that you know, possibly by reading their profile again and picking out the most salient points.

  5. Try Not To Be Ambiguous

    Don’t be ambiguous about the type of date it is. Is it a one hour coffee date or is it something that is going to last for 2 or 3 hours? It’s best to agree that in advance so that you’re both on the same page. It’s also important to stick to it, so if it’s a one hour coffee date, stick to your side of the bargain and be prepared to curtail it at that stage. Always aim to have your date wanting a little more of your company.

  6. Try Not To Be Planless

    Don’t turn up without a plan, do think ahead about things you’d like to talk about and that are relevant. Think of your opposite number’s likes and dislikes and their hobbies and interests if you can and keep them in your head. If there is an awkward silence you can probably then move on to another subject or aspect of their life.

  7. Try Not To Get Mixed Up

    Don’t get mixed up - put other profiles you may have looked at out of your mind – its not a good idea to get facts wrong or mixed up if it can be avoided. Getting things wrong can embarrassing for both parties – be serious about your date, after all they could be the one!

  8. Try Not To Be Intrusive

    Don’t be too intrusive, if the conversation doesn’t flow on a particular subject then don’t push your luck, change the subject to something that feels more comfortable for you both. If there is any awkwardness then be considerate and do it quickly.

  9. Try Not To Hog The Conversation

    Don’t hog the conversation, let your date talk too, the date and conversation should very much be two way and not at all one sided. Most people like to talk and tell you about themselves, their lives, their achievements, their career and their families. Remember you have 2 ears but only one mouth and if you use them in that proportion you will have probably have at least made a friend at the end of the date and someone who may like to see you again.

  10. Try Not To Overstep

    Finally the biggest and most contentious DON’T of all, which is don’t try it on on a first date, a polite kiss on the cheek might be appropriate at the end but it shouldn’t really be very much more than that and pay them the courtesy of checking that they are comfortable with everything and that they feel that things have gone to plan – then leave it at that!

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